Listen!

It has been my experience that one of the best tools a leader has available to them is the ability to listen. In fact, it is often more important to listen than it is to speak. Why? There is no way one person can pick up on all that is going on around them. Leaders usually have people around who can help them see what they are missing. The question is, will they listen?


Four easy steps to improve your listening skills:

1. Shut up. You can't possibly be listening if you are talking.

2. Tune In. Actively listen to the message. Do whatever you have to do to tune out distractions. Put your phone away - that text message you just got can wait another 10 minutes! And stop trying to formulate your rebuttal. You are not tuned in if you are thinking about what you want to say when the sender stops speaking. Additionally, your direct eye contact and receptive body language communicates to the sender that they are important.

3. Repeat it. Paraphrase what the sender said to you - just send the message back in your own words. This helps you, and the sender, know if you understood the message. How can you accurately and thoughtfully reply to a message unless you get it right in the first place?

4. Empathize. Try to put yourself in the sender's shoes. Why do they feel that way? Why do they believe that way? Then make a statement that validates what the other person is feeling or thinking. But how can you validate someone if they are wrong? If they are feeling it - it is real. Even if they believe something that is not true, it is real to them. Validating helps you understand why and prepares you to deal with the root of the issue without getting defensive. Validating also puts the sender at ease and opens the door for honest discussion.

What is the result of listening well? I’ve seen ideas for extremely innovative practices come from the lowest echelons of an organization. I’ve seen strained relationships mended and growth occur in both people as a result. I’ve also been able to find the “golden nugget” buried in the ranting of an angry opponent. There is usually a bit of truth buried in even the most unpleasant conversations!

All it really takes is for the leader to close their mouth, pay attention and listen to the people the good Lord put around them.